STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize