I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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