There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
