I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
