did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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