he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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