even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
