one might say we're banned from that church
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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