"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
