Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize