it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
my liver is dry heaving
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
