why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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