No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just high enough for therapy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
