i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
