my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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