I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
