Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
