I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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