so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
