yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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