i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
