plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize