I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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