I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize