I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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