A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
