It's just like the Real World with babies
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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