sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
