Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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