Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
