You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
