I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
