a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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