I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
