whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
