i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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