So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
