belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
