They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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