She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize