I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
