I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
