she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
