I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
