your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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