it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's shark week go big or go home
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
