Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
