Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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