Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
