so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
