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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what does that even mean?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.

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• (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.

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• (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  There are cops on horseback in our back yard

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was like eating gods vagina.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  How exactly does a handjob become fancy?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Blueberry lube, and champagne.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  of course

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• (516): View more from New York

  Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.

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