its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
