i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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