My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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