I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
