i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
