Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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