I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it because I queefed?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
