So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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