Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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