And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
