i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
