so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
