so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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