Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
