Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
