I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
