Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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