oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
