Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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